Welcome back to the six-part blog series on “The Magic of Stuff.”
Last week we heard some real-life stories from our clutter coach Cecilia Moorcroft about the hidden meanings we attach to our stuff. We began to talk about how changing our relationship with our stuff can change our relationship with our selves, and as Cecilia hinted, “change our way of being in any relationships in our lives.”
When we left off last week we were about to hear how our clutter coach personally and dramatically changed her own life by digging into the deep emotional layers of her clutter, and finally let go of the symbols of her past relationships to make space for new love to enter her life.
CM: I was single.. I mean my adult life... I spent a lot of my life single. That’s what has felt comfortable for me. But, I went through a phase where, “I really want to be in a relationship.” So, I used my tools. I lovingly cleared the relationship corner of my bedroom. I made space in my closet. I got a bigger bed. I got nice sheets. I got nice underwear [laughs]. But, it still wasn’t happening.
...And I couldn’t figure it out. There was still a block.
Its funny... It was actually because a friend of mine did a little interview with me on the radio about clearing clutter... I was listening to the playback of that interview... I said something about how the clutter that you don’t see still effects you. So, you can’t hide it. You cant’ hide it in your basement. you can’t hide it in your parents basement. You can’t hide it in a storage locker. Wherever it is, if it belongs to you it is connected to your energy and its effecting your life. “It doesn’t matter where it is. you can’t hide from clutter.” ...And I heard that, and I had this little *ping* of, in a visual image, of some boxes that had been in the basement, since I moved into my house four years earlier.
I moved in and I put them in the basement, and I completely forgot they were there. Like seriously... they became completely unconscious. ...And in that moment of listening to the interview I was like “Oh, ‘those’ boxes,” and as soon as I thought of them they became completely unconscious again.
CM: It was maybe a few weeks later that I thought of them again when I was helping somebody else with their clutter. I was like “okay, i am just going to look.” I am just going to go look and see whats there. There was one big box. So, I brought the box upstairs.
...And it was incredible. It was like going through an archaeological dig of my past relationships. The first layer was my most recent break-up. We had shared lived together, so there were the pictures that had been on the wall. It was all my journals, the beginning, the middle, the bitter end [laughs].
Under that layer, was a box of photographs. I can’t make this up. It literally had a picture of every single person I’ve dated, had an unrequited crush on, and every person I had any kind of something with. ...was in that box: the guy I had a crush from grade 4 to grade 8 [ laughs].
Under that was a box of old love letters, and all the old hate letters. It was pretty overwhelming actually to look at it because it was all in one place.
Its not like I consciously assembled this box of my past relationships. That’s just where it ended up when I packed, and once I looked at it I couldn’t pretend that it wasn't there anymore. It was so obvious what was standing in the way of me and moving on.
Not only was there every past relationship, but there were also a lot of old pictures of me, and I changed a lot in the mean time. Once I started clearing my clutter I started to slowly lose weight. I started to slowly become more present to my body and more present in my life. There were pictures in there of me at my biggest and my eyes... its like I am not alive. Its like I am not there. My spirit and my spark isn’t there, and I realize in seeing the pictures, that’s how I saw myself in the world. Its like my self image was this old version of myself walking in the world. But thats something I wasn’t anymore.
So, in finding that box, I went through it. The first step is I culled. I kept the ‘nice’ ex’s. [laughs]. I kept the ‘nice’ letters, and got rid of all the negative stuff. I got rid of all the journals. ...But within three months of finding that box and going through it, what was interesting is, ex’s started to contact me, and like “hey, I love you!”
“No, you don’t love me...”
RW: “I am hearing a little trickle in the force, what’s going on here? Am I about to get tossed?”
CM: “You don’t love me, its that I just thew out your picture”... [laughs] “That's why you think you love me.” It was so bizarre: -the people who started to come out of the wood work.
Coming next week: Part four of the six-part blog series on “the Magic of Stuff.” Did it work? Did de-cluttering her closets, clearing her relationship corner, getting new sheets, a bigger bed, ‘new’ sexy underwear, and tossing the photos of ex’s and old love letters make space for new love? Join us again next week to find out, and hear about exciting new ways of thinking about your stuff, and how it might be hindering you from living the life you want to live.